Fail Forward
The phrase “Fail Forward” is a mantra I keep in my head, and then use when I’m reflecting back on the things I’ve done, and also in the planning of things I want to do. I heard the phrase used in a speech by Denzel Washington it’s a pretty powerful speech - I hope one day I’ll be in my cap and gown giving a rousing speech as I finish my BSc in Sports Psychology.
The fear of failing used to fill me with dread. If I failed I’d be embarrassed, I’d feel shame, it would be too much to bare.
And then I failed.
Massively.
I failed at getting a place into the feeder academy for the Royal Australian Ballet, and with that my childhood goal of becoming a ballerina went up in flames. Devastated from this, I then failed my final year of high school. Double whammy!
And guess what, I learned that my world didn’t come crumbling down, that I didn’t implode, and that life went on. And although failing sucked, I was encouraged to pick myself up, dust myself off, learn from the experience and work on improving what I could improve.
I got a 9to5 job - I had to pay my way now that I was no longer at school. However, I was also encouraged to go to night school to make up my failed subjects. This provided a valuable learning experience - that I could change the finality of a failure into a stepping stone or building block to build my ongoing path.
I went on to College to study fitness - becoming an aerobics instructor, gym instructor, swimming instructor, personal trainer, sports massage therapist. During the past 2 years I started studying again at Open University with the aim of getting the points I needed to get an offer from Loughborough University, and nearly 40 years after leaving high school I’m on my way to achieving a Degree in Sports Psychology.
In terms of failing to reach a specified end such as a race finish line or an adventure finish line, I’ve not crossed many of those finish lines.
My very first attempt at a marathon ended with a DNF (did not finish). I picked myself up, dusted myself off, wondered what I could do to improve, I put changes into action, and I tried a second time. Most importantly was how I filed it away in my brain. I could have said “well I’m obviously not a marathon runner” and stopped the training process. Instead I filed it into my memory as a “this was a training run on my path to becoming a marathon runner” and I kept working at it.
I’ve not finished an adventure - in 2021 I attempted to run 100 marathons in 100 days. I broke on day 13 and the stress fracture in my pelvis determined the end of that attempt. I already had the mindset that this was a training run on my way to Australia. After I broke, I realised I had a lot of work to do to overcome the obstacles I was experiencing from my perimenopausal symptoms, but it was not an impossible task. And whilst I don’t intend on going back to the 100 marathons adventure, I know that it was an invaluable part of my RunAustralia.
In my 30’s I started working for myself and running my own businesses. There have been many highs and lows, including insolvency and near bankruptcy misses. I’m still fighting. I’m still believing I can do this. And by “this” my measure of success is that I will be able to financially look after myself in my old age. I was going to say retirement years, but I’m honestly hoping I’ll still be able to run, adventure, write, speak, use my Degree and be a functioning part of society until the day I die, so I’m not really sure I will be a retiree.
So instead of fearing failure and letting it hold me back from doing things, I follow the belief that it would hurt me more if I was never brave enough to give it a go. And if I don’t quite hit the finish line, then I have been learning and I’m in training for the next attempt.
“What if I fail?” still pops into my mind, but by using the mantra “Fail forward” I know I can deal with things not always going to plan.
I hope by sharing my experiences, thoughts and the working processes I use to take the fear out of failing and make “failing forward” part of the process, that you too are never held back by a fear failing.
Just as a little aside, I heard a radio interview with Sarina Weigman, England’s Football Team Coach, on my drive to uni. She was speaking about when the team comes up against tough opponents. The team are told that “each game is a brilliant opportunity - you come away with either confidence or development.”
What a great way to experience life - you can win some, lose some, or draw some, but it’s up to you how you file that experience away that is going to be most useful for your ongoing progress.
Fail forward. x